In 1995, Country Western Artist, Patty Loveless recorded a song entitled, “How Can I Help You To Say Goodbye.” It did not reach #1 but made an impact on country western music.   It is a heartbreaking tune about a woman’s relationships in life including re-location, divorce and caring for her elderly mother at a crucial time in her life.

collogoHere is an excerpt:

Sitting with Mama alone in her bedroom
She opened her eyes, and then squeezed my hand
She said, I have to go now, my time here is over
And with her final word, she tried to help me understand
Mama whispered softly, Time will ease your pain
Life’s about changing, nothing ever stays the same

And she said, How can I help you to say goodbye?
It’s OK to hurt, and it’s OK to cry
Come, let me hold you and I will try
How can I help you to say goodbye?

Saying “goodbye” is difficult no matter what the situation.  It is especially difficult when a loved one dies and there are strong feelings of sadness as well as sincere feelings of appreciation for the life shared. Finding small, personal, and unique ways to celebrate in the midst of the loss helps us move from hurt and grief to acceptance and hope. It’s a process.  As you go through that process, I encourage you to be kind, generous, and gentle with yourself.  Be flexible and accepting of the vast range of emotion that you are experiencing.  Seek support form others.

I particularly like the closing words; “It’s OK to hurt, and it’s OK to cry.  Come let me hold you and I will try.  How can I help you to say goodbye?”  Look for those people around you who are trying to convey that message or at least thinking it. They will be there.

What are your thoughts? Blog with me!

-Paul

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: